||[Apr. 7th, 2007|09:59 pm]
is that you?
I think . . . that I am, and forever will be (as a pessimistic add-on), an observer.|
Watch, read, study, notice, write. I don't do. Lazily, I wonder if maybe I can't. Maybe I'm not supposed to be active in life and to be a go-getter. I have the friends and the family and the books and the t.v. shows that demonstrate dilemmas and relationships and LIFE. And I react to that, although the influences on me are fucking useless. My involvement is useless. Yeah, we won't narrow it down anymore (I am uselessBLAH).
I don't happen, so things - in exchange - don't happen to me. It can't be all about risk, can it? What the hell kind of risks do I need to take, then, to not be a waste?
It seriously never changes. Epiphany, hah. Lightbulb-idea it up, yeah right! It's a cycle of shit and a roundabout pile of people aging and growing and devloping and me still being THE SAME. SAMESAMESAME.
you think of moving on, but your sign 'moving on or bust' just flew away, dumb ass.