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(no subject) [Dec. 23rd, 2006|07:58 pm]
is that you?
I'm not trapped in a room or in my house or in a cycle of stupid events that mean something to someone else - no. I'm trapped in myself.

It's like in Before Sunset when Ethan Hawk's character says something about how he's never been somewhere where he wasn't, how he's never told a joke that he didn't have to hear. I want to go away from myself. I want to tell a freaking joke that I haven't heard myself tell a million times (although I don't usually tell repeat-jokes mostly because I don't remember any of the ones I've heard) and I want to live away from this 'so me' stuff. Want, want, want, and me, me, me. Jeez I hate venting. I'm not used to it and when I do vent I feel like such an arrogant brat.

Someone tell me something about themselves please. Complain to me. That's what I'm here for. Hereherehere. I'm always just here. being me - with me.

Only me. And I feel trapped.
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(no subject) [Oct. 8th, 2006|12:47 am]
is that you?
[music |Killers' When you were young]

I stayed up until about 3:45 in the morning finishing my conservation of natural resources lab and it was the best thing I've done in a while. and the best thing I've done, period, since I've been here.

This isn't something I can space off through. Somehow I got here and yeah, there's boys and friends and Flavor Of Love, but this is my life.

I can't stomach any more regrets for the time being.
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procrastination [Sep. 23rd, 2006|10:03 pm]
is that you?
[music |Death Cab for Cutie's Title and Registration]

pro-crasti-nation.

I'm doing it. right . . . . now . . . and back there too. I feel like breaking down the word, so I shall. First, there's pro. that means something positive. That's a good thing. Procrastination is a positively good thing and automatically reflects whoever's doing it. You're a good, positive person if you're procrastinating - for example. And then there's crasti. Here's what I found on crasti: "Crasti & Company Pty Ltd is a tight knit Australian Company providing exceptional service and highly competitive prices. With over 18 years experience in the supply of FIBCs (bulk bags) and support from major overseas suppliers with ISO 9002 accreditation, Crasti & Company are able to supply FIBC's tailored to your specific needs. To keep up with your needs, we supply a large range of all bulk packaging products." Um that means that procrastination is a good thing to carry around. You'll be more popular and more stylish if you carry around procrastination. Procrastination = popularity and fashion. And lastly, nation. That's a country. And that's including everyone in it. Nations are peoples' homes. And if you don't like your nation you can go to another nation, one that you like and there you'll find happiness. So, procrastination is a happy place to live in - and you live happily if you're procrastinating. To sum it up,whoever procrastinates is a pleasant person who is loved and who has popular bags to carry around their home, which they love.

Here's a note, interpreted exactly, that Brandy found in our hall's kitchen. and picked up to show me in our room: "When we were camping (Alex, Kristin and I) there was an animal outside of our tent. I was scared because Alex was teasing me about getting kidnapped and stuff. he heard a noise when we were both sitting up (pitch black) and he accidentley grabbed my right breast. It was basically amazing. He's a total gentleman though . . ."

so yeaah.
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(no subject) [Sep. 15th, 2006|02:33 pm]
is that you?
[music |Rilo Kiley's Portions For Foxes]

I love (like insane-unhealthy-nonsensical lovelove) when you've been trying to write a story for so long and then suddenly you're sitting in front of the computer and the light bulb begins to slowly flicker until it's completely illuminating your brain and your fingers - they don't slow down and they just keep clacking until your smile is invincible and your storyline/characters/ideas are ecstatic.

I love it.
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(no subject) [Sep. 10th, 2006|09:18 pm]
is that you?
[music |Fergie's London Bridge song]

I should be reading more. I don't want this to turn into one of those cockily played out 'I-ma-do-it-quick' type of deals. Those certainly don't end without a big prick to the ol ego.

I just need my books.
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(no subject) [Sep. 7th, 2006|08:59 pm]
is that you?
[music |people hooting]

Oh gross.

Have i become that girl that waits by the phone?

well never mind - I'm missing The Office.
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(no subject) [Sep. 5th, 2006|07:04 pm]
is that you?
[music |Some nick lachey song]

Dear Time,

You are constantly screwing me over. You make boredom and exhaustion bloom, while weighing down, and sometimes breaking, relationships.

You kill us, emotionally and phsyically. And, while you really piss me off, I am always reaching for more of you. I'm always chasing you. And you're always moving, so freaking fast. I can't keep up and I think you should win some kind of track award.

In conclusion: I think you're a bitch.


Love, me
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(no subject) [Sep. 1st, 2006|08:16 pm]
is that you?
[music |Gogol Bordello's Start Wearing Purple]

Wow. I've only done orientation, but I'm totally shell-shocked by this whole college situation.

I've gone through all the freaking stages. Like, "oh hey hey now. This is all so new and shiny."

Then I went to the overwhelming stage where everything needed to be packed and I needed to be somewhere at some time with someone and it was esssssential.

After that, I got to the very unfortunate stage where Brandy had to go to work and I couldn't sit in my room any longer so I had to wander around campus with this 'oh i do have a destination' look plastered to my face while I just wanted some damn fresh air. It got depressing fast. And my bloody friends would not answer their bloody phones. Example: Sean Fuckhead. I was so desperate for some one-on-one confiding and hanging by a freaking thread. I left a message on his phone telling him that it would be great if he could send me a package of anthrax because I needed this to end . . . now. But the melodrama ended soon after that.

Everyone's so nice that I'm afraid to run into them in the morning. If I drop any lower on their cheery-o-meter I'll probably become the bitch in room 203 that everyone gives fake and quick helloo's to. That title should definitely be Brandy's and I don't want to take that away from her.

Uh, yaah. I'm exhausted from blabbing. I just had to get that out. And, as a last note - military boys sure can be frustrating
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(no subject) [Aug. 27th, 2006|03:36 pm]
is that you?
[music |Nirvana's Love Buzz]

I was just recently informed that my outfit "assaults the eye."

That's all.
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(no subject) [Aug. 26th, 2006|09:52 pm]
is that you?
[music |Cheetah Girls' boppity-bop]

Oy vey.

Saturday should not equal Cheetah Girls 2 time. But I'm a sick, sick person.

I talked to the coolest person I know today. She's adopted a girl from South Africa while she was down there and is supporting her by sending money every so often. She wants to go back and be a nature lovin Spainish translator. I seriously love her. You don't meet a lot of people where you can go months without speaking to them and then pick it all up a second into the phone conversation. You don't meet a lot of people who get a brain tumor, become blind, and never once stop being as crazy-amazing as they were before. I feel totally worst-case-scenerio-ghhhhettto compared to her, but she's my idol.

Oh, and I've been trying to come up with unique versions of Mike. Yeah we got nicknames. Mikey, Mikers . . . uh, and i run out. Mike's a good, solid name. Don't get me wrong. But I want to jazz it up a little bit. Ike-may? Maybe pig latin can't save me on this one.
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